One of the last things I spoke to Peter before all hell broke loose was, “Don’t fuck with my motherhood.” That’s exactly what he did since I spoke those words. He pushed my buttons and sent me in a whirlwind. More like a tornado out of control. What shred of…
Peter
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Stop Being The Victim
The blasts happened almost every time he drank too much – weekly. Walking on eggshells was a way of life. Sadly Peter’s way did not have room for childhood sexual abuse. He told me, “stop being the victim.” I look at this with outrageous irony because he later acquired 2…
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The Honeymoon’s Over
Shortly after I was married (a week or so), I learned my new husband’s idea of breaking a person like a horse was more intention than idea. The only sex we had our first year of marriage was on our honeymoon. The reason given was that I was not a…
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Break ‘em Like a Horse
Peter’s wisdom was to break down a person to the bare core then build back up properly, undoing the bad and starting over. His best friend influenced him to try EST. Erhard Seminars Training, an organization founded by Werner Erhard in 1971, offered a two-weekend (60-hour) course known officially as…
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Love is… Who The Fuck Really Knows?
I didn’t know what love was, just what I learned on TV. I was never in love. A couple people tried to talk me out of marrying Peter – his own brother told me not to do it, that Peter had serious issues. My brother Craig sat me down on…
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Peter the Narcissist
Peter came along with low self-esteem, awkward with women, abused physically and emotionally by his father, forced into an endless pursuit of perfection by his mother, probably abused by priests based on his apprehension and awkwardness with sex and women in general. Growing up in a loose environment and being…
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Married into Family
I was stuck on gaining a large family and Peter’s “potential” to be a good man. He had many good qualities, lots of friends, good looking, charismatic, and a big family. He was into some hippie things also – E.S.T., Macrobiotics, Primal Scream (although only vicariously through his best friend),…
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About Peter
Peter was from another place. He was the oldest of seven. His mother’s life goal was perfection and raising the children from “The Sound of Music.” I was told stories of how she would have to stand at attention with her brother to be inspected when her father came home…
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Peter and Loveless
Peter never loved me according to Corinthians, the highest authority on love and how Christians should love others. The Bible, the word, the way of the Lord. I don’t go to church and not clear on God but always tried to live as a Christian as I was taught. My…