I know what it’s like to lose a child, I lost two. It was subtle and I didn’t see it coming. It actually started when Ashley was born. No, actually when we started dating. A planned alienation that continues to this day. I never realized the man I got involved with was a sociopath. I just wanted to get married, play house and have kids. I got sucked into this one man cult and didn’t know how to get out. Seriously, I would watch programs about people stuck in cults for decades and think why didn’t they leave? Why did they stay and subject themselves to abuse day after day after week after year? I can’t answer the question for myself other than I was brainwashed and weak and could not stand up for myself. I’m not sure if it was the fear of God my father instilled in me with the threat of corporal punishment, the fact that I am on the Spectrum and take/took everything literally. “Don’t tell anyone, it’s our little secret,” my brother said. Unfortunately once abused becomes a mantra that repeats itself throughout life.