The blasts happened almost every time he drank too much – weekly. Walking on eggshells was a way of life. Sadly Peter’s way did not have room for childhood sexual abuse. He told me, “stop being the victim.” I look at this with outrageous irony because he later acquired 2 master degrees in psychology. How can I stop being the victim when I never dealt with being victimized? Recently I heard my daughter talking about someone else saying, “…always being the victim.” I cringed. The literal definition of the word victim is “a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.” Peter told me to just move on and deal with it. I never did. I never grew up. I was stuck, frozen, just like I was as a child. I had no idea what happened to me. Just like every man I had a relationship with in my life Peter was not a choice of mine but rather a fisherman that hooked me into his world.