When I was fourteen my best friend wrote me a letter and told me she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. She told me I was weird and a loner and she was more into groups of friends. She steered me into the drama club then ditched, and I…
-
-
Eating
As a child in the early sixties I was forced to eat everything on my plate, like it or not. Any undesirable meals would be fed to the dog or stuffed in my mouth or pockets before the “May I be excused to use the bathroom,” spit and flush. Discovering…
-
Snow Dance
It snowed all day again today and it’s only the third day of December. Last month seem like the heart of the season when Winter hadn’t even begun. The few inches today topped off the two feet already covering the ground. Although I’ve always loved snow and have fond memories…
-
Forgiving Myself
Something amazing happened this week. In my quest to understand what the fuck happened to me in my life I dug deeper than just childhood sexual abuse. I looked at all the toxic relationships in my life dubbing them ‘pseudo loves.’ There were multiple pseudo loves in my life who…
-
Mom
Most people remember bits and pieces of their childhood but never really dig deep. Like hypnosis deep. I’ve been digging for decades and still uncover major details. One thing leads to another like unearthing a sappy mystery. It started a few years ago when I was thought I might have…
-
The Courtroom
I walked out of the courtroom and was outside my body. Disconnected from the reality that I had just given up my children and the right to be their mother. It was a blow below the knees and I was paralyzed wanting only to crawl in a hole and die. …