Seven years ago I was hanging with my cousin-buddies and it quickly turned into early morning. Quite often they hosted karaoke parties in a pine plank finished loft over the barn. Cousin was a geek and had a full band-jam setup with a drum kit, keyboard, guitars, multiple microphones on tall stands, large speakers and amplifies, tambourines, monitors for lyrics, and usually lots of food and drink. The next morning our sides ached from laughter and voices strained from singing full-heart. I always slept over after the clock hit ‘am’ because I wouldn’t drive at that hour with any amount of alcohol in my system. Seven years ago one of these nights I was sleeping comfortably in what I called the ‘princess bed’ that was suitable for a queen. I was woken up by my cousin hovering over my bed telling me he had “feelings for me” and basically he wanted to join me in bed. Quite the surprise as one might expect. Any other women of that time in that circumstance would have corrected him firmly, dealt with it then and there, and moved on status quo. It took me a while to process what happened, thought maybe it was a mistake he was drunk wrong room perhaps. I left soon after and could not really wrap my head around what happened. After all we were more like siblings than cousins. A sharp reality that dug deep uprooting decades of buried memories.
That moment waking to my cousin standing over me in bed shattered an understanding